Nomading

Jul 7

11th Move in 5 Years

I’ve heard it happens. Humans are not only social animals but nomading creatures. Had I known the journey would continue; that is, if I understood that once uprooted, planting new tentacles into fertile ground would not be easy, I might have rethought the plan to leave “home.” Or would I?
Last September 1, squeezed in around Mabel Moonshine’s second birthday celebration, we moved into this wonderful cabin on Spruce Creek in Kittery Point, Maine.

We knew at the time that we would have to move come July 1 when its owner, my colleague and friend for over 35 years would return from Hawaii for the summer. I believed we would have found a space in which to dig roots and transplant ourselves. Life happens and it was a gruesome winter. Having not found shelter to match our desires and economics, we agreed to rent for another year and to nomad for the homeless summer. Changes and chances led to the worsening condition of my mother-in-law and on May 18, also third son Dayyan Jordan’s 29th birthday, Joan Beane took her last breath in this world and submerged into the Sea of Light. Upon much consultation, we agreed to purchase her Portsmouth home, half of a house in the historical South End of Portsmouth, a house my husband remodeled some 25 years back (it was coincidentally available to purchase when his father’s diagnosis led his parents to move to the Seacoast 20 years ago). In town, urban, and historic, the space would never be my first choice for roots.
But I am tired and even air plants, those little faunas that dangle from anywhere and grow in space, need a final resting place to call home. So, by the end of 6 years, June 2015, we will complete our 13th move in 6 years (includes returning to the cabin Sept 1…squeezed in and around Mabel Moonshine’s third birthday.


Jan 28

Making the Invisible Known

According to Rob Brezsny…this week: 

1. Be willing to go a long way to find a secret you don’t even know 
you’re looking for.

2. Consider the possibility of cultivating faith in a goal 
that you don’t quite yet grasp in its entirety.

3. Rely on shadows and reflections to give you accurate information you can’t get directly from the thing that’s casting shadows and being reflected.

Teaching Race Matters this semester brings me closer to my first generation American status and my Americanized identity. A life lived in the shadows.


Jan 1
Until the Sea Levels Rise…There Will Always Be Apt. 819 - Condado del Mar

Until the Sea Levels Rise…There Will Always Be Apt. 819 - Condado del Mar


Dec 2
Semi-permanent Nomading

Semi-permanent Nomading


Jun 21

Jun 11

Annie Dillard says:

How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. What we do with this hour, and that one, is what we are doing. A schedule defends from chaos and whim. It is a net for catching days. It is a scaffolding on which a worker can stand and labor with both hands at sections of time. A schedule is a mock-up of reason and order—willed, faked, and so brought into being; it is a peace and a haven set into the wreck of time; it is a lifeboat on which you find yourself, decades later, still living. Each day is the same, so you remember the series afterward as a blurred and powerful pattern.


Studio: A Home Away from Home


In exactly 3 weeks from today it will be one full year since returning to the northeast from the southwest.  As much as I would like to report that roots have grown out of my nomading feet, I cannot.  Moved this week from a one-year rental in an old but renovated New Englander in southern Maine to the NH home I’ve been avoiding for a host of complicated reasons.  Before my head hit the pillow that first night, we had a verbal agreement on a sale and then signed a purchase agreement with inspection and a closing date end of August a few days later to a family best described as a younger version of us.  How did they discover our unlisted house was for sale?  A woman decided she wanted to live in one of the 4 houses on the river side of our block and went knocking door to door, stopped at our house first, of course, and asked our tenant if our house was for sale. “I think the owners want to sell,” he said, asked our permission to walk through and came back the next day with her husband.  They fell in love.
Never before could the over-used notion, “the universe is unfolding exactly as it should” be said to apply.  If, in fact, worry, anxiety, doubt, fear, etc. are, as Eckhart Tolle suggests, functions of the ego, I am less evolved than I would like to be. Even with most would call remarkable, a miracle perhaps, I would be dishonest if I didn’t admit I have been visited by seller’s remorse at least 1, 2, 3 times.  What a fabulous house with everything I love, one floor, gorgeous, colorful walls, open space, on a river with a wildlife reserve behind…except I am done with this town in which I am no longer teaching.  Even when I ask my heart to trust, my mind can only follow for short spurts.  It’s a constant dance, perhaps a cha-cha. One step forward, one step back.  So, universe, may I request bookends?

In exactly 3 weeks from today it will be one full year since returning to the northeast from the southwest.  As much as I would like to report that roots have grown out of my nomading feet, I cannot.  Moved this week from a one-year rental in an old but renovated New Englander in southern Maine to the NH home I’ve been avoiding for a host of complicated reasons.  Before my head hit the pillow that first night, we had a verbal agreement on a sale and then signed a purchase agreement with inspection and a closing date end of August a few days later to a family best described as a younger version of us.  How did they discover our unlisted house was for sale?  A woman decided she wanted to live in one of the 4 houses on the river side of our block and went knocking door to door, stopped at our house first, of course, and asked our tenant if our house was for sale. “I think the owners want to sell,” he said, asked our permission to walk through and came back the next day with her husband.  They fell in love.

Never before could the over-used notion, “the universe is unfolding exactly as it should” be said to apply.  If, in fact, worry, anxiety, doubt, fear, etc. are, as Eckhart Tolle suggests, functions of the ego, I am less evolved than I would like to be. Even with most would call remarkable, a miracle perhaps, I would be dishonest if I didn’t admit I have been visited by seller’s remorse at least 1, 2, 3 times.  What a fabulous house with everything I love, one floor, gorgeous, colorful walls, open space, on a river with a wildlife reserve behind…except I am done with this town in which I am no longer teaching.  Even when I ask my heart to trust, my mind can only follow for short spurts.  It’s a constant dance, perhaps a cha-cha. One step forward, one step back.  So, universe, may I request bookends?


May 19

May 19

An auspicious day.  On May 19, 1973 I wrote: “the doors have opened and Light streamed in.”  40 years later and I’m still seeking.  



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